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Happy New Year, folks. May 2009 brings us all a lot of happiness, laughter, good health and plenty of good memories.

Today is the day when we have to remember to write 2009 instead of 2008.

Today is the first day when we Malaysians have to buckle up at the back seats.

Today is the first day of a challenging year ahead.

Today is World Peace Day.

Today, Catholics celebrate the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God.

I shall not bore people with lengthy post. The above is a photo of the church before mass. The mass is animated by the youths of Cathedral of the Holy Spirit and they had done a marvelous job. I hope they are given the task of animating mass like once a month because the future of the church is in their hands.

Photo with the girls. (psst…my fansee ler) Sigh….how nice if I have daughters their age. They are younger than my #2 son. Then, I get to posing posing and taking pikchures with them.

Instead, this is what I get with sons.

It was meant to be a ‘come, all three of you sit down properly and I take nice nice photo so that next year, we can compare with today’s photo’. But what I get are three monkeys acting drunk.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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In case you do not know, that real Auntie Too with a bad voice and equally bad hair colour in the name of fengshui, has two Ls to her name. My name is only one L. Somemore my Lilian is real Lilian spelt that way in my birth certificate, ok? And the too I spell is the small too, meaning sama-sama and not the real Too like the fengshui auntie Lillian, ok? So, she cannot sue me if my bullshits for the fortune of the year of the Ox 2009 gets higher on the search results, ok? Now, Malaysiakini has just released the predictions for 2009.

Malaysiakini said :

well-known astrologists predict political upheavals marked by assassinations, atrocities, natural calamities, rampant corruption, social decadence, environmental destruction, massacres and revolutions.

According to them, the planetary configuration on Jan 25 - the last day of the Year of the Rat - will trigger another wave of world disorder which will last until March 23, 2023.

But I tell you lah, March 23, 2023 may not even come because Lilian too said Nostradamus 2012 prophecy said the world ends on December 21st, 2012. See? That means we do not have to worry too far and too much right? Few more years only, kaboom! Hamkarchan. Hampalang blown to dusts. Why worry?

Aiyah, why worry so much about what Malaysiakini or any of the media, fengshui masters, fortune tellers, Lillian Too, Joey Yap predict? Let’s enjoy the “Who lets them cows out” video, ok?

I am going to welcome 2009 doing something more spiritual like going to church. Well, not really for the spiritual side of it but since it is a youth mass and my #2 son is part of the team animating the mass, I have to obediently go along. Anyway, not like I have any hip and happening New Year’s Eve party to attend also lah.

So, if I don’t post again later, Happy New Year and go get drunk while you can.

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So, I was a bit kiasu. I went to check some blogs Alexa rankings with mine. For your info, Alexa is not a girl. It is the most unreliable and yet, some stupid advertisers still insist to use rankings. You can enter your site URL with other people whom you think are on par with you in terms of traffic, and find out who is better. It is one of those things that we bloggers do to boost our ego.

(this is how my blog looks like in February 2005 when I first ‘move’ in)

Then, not happy enough, I check the pageranks. Pageranks is some sort of measurement given by Google, the search engine to tell people if your blog is best, i.e. 10/10 or your blog is of no significance, ie. 0/10. This blog is 4/10 because Google penislised penalized me before for selling links on my blog. I eventually went down on my knees and lick Google’s boot to get back my pagerank. It used to be 5/10 but lately, Google is a little bit strict and getting 4/10 is good enough for me.

Still not satisfied, I read a bit of the blogs that I am kiasu with. And I realized something. Some bloggers’ style of writing never changed. They write the same old thing, for years and years and years and years (that is 4x). They pick on the same subjects again and again. Whether it is about fat housewives or some Banglas or some Ah Lians. It is like they are magnets for these subjects they abhor. (In my psychology class, I learn that people like these are actually hating their own parents, their own background, their own weaknesses etc etc)

(this is how my blog looks like in Dec 30th, 2005)

So, by then, I am freaking out. I do not want to live in a cycle like that. I begin to wonder if others also find my blog the same? I don’t need anyone’s assurance, ok? I am just voicing out the nightmares within me.

I do not want to have the same blog template.
I do not want to have the same blog background colour.
I do not want people to come to my blog in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2020, 2080, 2100 (ok, I would be dead long before this) and still get the same shits, different names.

(this is sometime in July 2007, I think)

Arrggh….you get what I am talking about? I am not asking you to tell me nice things. I am not comparing my blog with the other bloggers. But when I see that some bloggers remain in the same place, year in, year out, I also wonder if I am starting to rot in the same cesspool. You see, we cannot see our own shortcomings and bad points. We need people to tell us. Or Alexa and Google PR to show us. When those dipped drastically, we know we are in deep shits.

So, before 2008 ends, I hope to make some quick evaluation and hope I never subject my poor, valued readers to the same shits, different years.

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I AM COW - By Arrogant Worms

I am cow, hear me moo
I weigh twice as much as you
And I look good on the barbecue
Yogurt, curd, cream cheese and butters
Made from liquid from my udders
I am cow, I am cow, hear me moo (moo)

I am cow, eating grass
Methane gas comes out my ass
And out my muzzle when I belch
Oh, the ozone layer is thinner
From the outcome of my dinner
I am cow, I am cow, Ive got gas

I am cow, here I stand
Far and wide upon this land
And I am living everywhere
From b.c. to newfoundland
You can squeeze my teats by hand
I am cow, I am cow, I am cow
I am cow, I am cow, I am cow!

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These few days, we have been trying hard to remember to buckle up. We Malaysians have only a few more days before they implement the law that all passengers at the back must fasten their seat belts.

However, there are a few things I find rather ridiculous. Here are some of them :

In this news, do you notice how hazardous it is to put a small child on the lap of his young brother, in the middle of the back seat? I mean, I do understand how the general Malaysian families ride in cars. But do they have to put a photo of such situation on the paper, making it like it is fine to put a small child without a car seat in a car? If brake is applied, the child will fly out of the car, through the broken windshield.

Do you notice how much they are going to fine people who do not use their rear seat belt? RM2,000. Dua ribu. Are they mad or what? Giving us summon for RM300 for speeding but RM2,000 for not wearing seat belt? Can you smell the ‘kopi-o’ money that will be generated? I for one can tell you in the face that I will, at any time, any day feed a RM50 kopi if I know I am going to be fined RM2,000. If it is RM200, I probably can tell the police officer, “Mau saman, saman lah. Cepat sikit tulis saman, saya tak senang.” But RM2,000? They are really talking out of their rear.

The most mindfarking thing that I find is how they implement the seat belt but only three persons need to buckle up. The fourth passenger does not need to buckle up. Knowing Malaysians very well, they sometime stuff five persons at the back of a Kancil. So, does this mean the two extra passengers do not need to wear their belt?

Other vehicles that were exempted from the ruling were commercial vehicles such as taxis and rental cars, large vehicles that can seat nine passengers or more and haulers that have a tonnage limit of more than 3.5 tonnes.

Can someone tell me why taxis, buses and rental cars are exempted? Does it mean they won’t die in crashes? Or what? That is kind of silly too, isn’t it? I know the taxi drivers in Hongkong and Australia will not move unless they are absolutely sure we have buckled up. But how come Malaysia exempt these passengers?

Haih…the more I read, the more confuse I am.

Anyway, I hate my Persona rear seat belts because it cuts into my shoulder. But what to do……it is the law. Laws are made to be followed.

Remember - Buckle up. Berhati-hati di jalanraya.

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Few days ago, I read in a local column about blogs phasing out and to be replaced by micro-blogging. It is like a one sentence blogging where people uses short sentences to share their thoughts or what they are doing. I am not a fan of such method because one can never say all there is to say in a sentence, ok? That’s why until today, my Twitter account stays not updated since the day I signed up for an account.

So, I do not think blogging is going to dwindle and die off anytime soon. Not when people are getting more vocal and love to share their thoughts, videos and photos. This is evident in thoughts.com which is a 100% free service where people can blog, share their photos and videos with others. From the look of it, thoughts.com does have many things other social communities do not have. For example, they allow members to join the forum, take part in polls and they can also vote a blog post according to its popularity.

Signing up for a free account is easy and one is immediately connected to like-minded people. Who knows, people may also find love interests on the community because there is no other way to express oneself than through blogs, isn’t it?

As for me, I definitely do not think blogging will become not popular anytime soon. People are just getting on the bandwagon and it will probably last for many more years. Moreover blogs which are updated often are much more valuable in terms of commercial value compared to static sites or micro-blogging. Advertisers love blogs. Search engines prefer blogs. What else do we need, huh?

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Someone asked me on Facebook, why does he see me with three little babies but I call myself 5xmom? My dear new Facebook friend ah, the two little babies aren’t mine lah. They are my grandnephew and grandniece. If my kids are that small, I won’t even have time to go to the toilet to pangsai, what more blog so much? Aiyor….*sweats*

Now, these two are my boys. My #3 and my #5 boys. The #4 has gone to heaven. My two older boys are taller than me already lah. Come to think of it, when I see pregnant women, I also get cold sweats, thinking how ‘heavy’ it is to carry babies and then, what chore it is to take care of tiny babies. Yerrr….somemore the pain of childbirth……my hairs also stand on end, thinking of the heavy responsibilities of caring for helpless babies.

So, I am going to comfort myself, wiping off the scary images of being mom to tiny babies by writing down what I am going to do next year in 2009. I am going to list down things that I can do ‘independently’.

1) In January, I am going to take a two months course sponsored and organised by Malaysiakini and Seacem. It is a course on citizen journalism. I think I am very qualified because I can write, I can ’see and sniff’ news, I can take photos and operates video cam and who can present an issue to capture people’s interest like me? Heh.

2) I am going to kick back and let my sons cook for me! Whoopee! Freedom from the kitchen.

3) My little boy is going to kindie and that means, I probably can retire from washing his butt. In fact, we are training him now to wash his own butt. Sigh…people may think this is a none issue but for parents, this is like a big milestone when we parents can finally stop smelling our kids’ shits.

4) I just asked my parish priest today, “So, Father, what does it take to be a catechism class teacher? (cathechism = Sunday school) Can I join the ministry to learn rather than to teach? My knowledge on Catholicism is probably the level of a six years old kid but faith, I do have a lot and I can share that very well.” So, Father Fab told me to come to church next week to follow the formation he is giving for faith sharers. Booyeah! My son said I am out of mind. I like doing things that made them go, “Man..your ma is crazy.” I told him, “Heh, your ma must do everything at least once.” But seriously, I hope to learn to be a better Catholic mom.

5) In 2009, I am going to take a follow up course on psychology on human behavior and development. I am also doing theology online or the science of God (exploring if God really exists). If I haven’t gone mad by then, I want to finally put my feet down and pursue clinical pastoral education (CPE) but this will be KIV for the first quarter of the year so that my little boy can adjust to kindie.

6) I resolve to follow through with my volunteer work at Mt. Miriam on a regular basis. I hope to hang on eventhough, sometime people I know well, die and it is rather depressing. But hey, if there ever comes a day when I see there are too many volunteers, then, I shall leave. (right now, there is none except the seminarians from College General because the hospital is very selective on who they allow to work voluntary in pastoral care).

7) I am going to continue making money from my blogs. In fact, I am going to make sure that I do better in 2009 than 2008. But then, with the recession looming, people losing their jobs and etc, I am lucky if I can earn a decent amount without all the pressures of staying in a job, getting a bonus or not, being retrench or face salary cut headaches.

I won’t make foolish New Year resolutions like losing weight, eating healthy and etc. If I can do another year of vegetarian fasting during the season of Lent for 40 days, I will be satisfied.

9) I am going to wish for property prices in Penang to drop so that we can buy a bigger place. You know what’s crazy? My current apartment was bought around 2003 at RM160K. The other day, someone wanted to sell two units and he refused to budge from RM450K even though we offered him RM380K! Someone else sell their ground floor for RM210K. Half a year ago, we offered our neighbour RM175K to sell the unit to us (so we can break the wall in between to make a door) but he sold it for RM185K. Doh! I wish, I pray, hampalang people suddenly need to sell their properties after losing their jobs and the prices of properties in Penang start to drop like cow dung. (fat wish)

10) I hope to at least travel to Bali in 2009. Of course, on the top of my list of places to go are New Zealand, Japan, Israel (heh), South Africa but multiply the price person with five adults and one kid, I can forget about leaving the country on a plane.

11) I am going to continue being obnoxious on my blogs for the benefits of humankind, country and hahahahaha *falls off the dream cloud*. But hey, I pray that ‘the project’ I am currently doing will bear fruits.

12) Lastly, I hope to see the country get rid of its Bodohland image and be rule by justice, peace and harmony.

And this shall be my New Year 2009 resolutions. Twelve things to follow through.

So, what’s your resolutions?

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“Jika diletakkan arak, pelacur atau babi, babi lebih sensitif bagi orang Melayu,” tambah Rahimudin.

(Malaysiakini isu babi)

I have no issues about people protesting about pig farms located in Malay areas because truthfully, pig shits stink. Really, really stink. So, by all means, go protest for the farms to be located somewhere remote.

But to make a statement that prostitution is more bearable than pigs rearing, I just wonder….And do I get the message that just because there are pigs running around, some races are breaking up? That’s what they say on the banner, “Babi berleluasa, Melayu sibuk berebut kuasa”. Me thinks they should wake up and see that those oinkies are not the source of your problems. Those oinkies are just mere foods to some people. Nothing more, nothing less. It is not our national pride, nor carry any symbolic meaning, dudes. Itu cuma makanan lah.

Pork is a cheap source of protein and I think people should be thankful over here, we have pigs to feed a group of people. This way, we don’t eat away all the cows and goats and chickens, leaving a big portion of food source to everyone else. You know, in Zimbabwe, the people there are so poor, they had to mix cow dung into their foods to fill themselves up. So, be thankful for the oinkies.

The pig breeders said, “It wasn’t us, say pig breeders” (malaysiakini). They aren’t the ones who hang pig’s head all over town. And I think I believe them because these taukehs have better things to do than to hang pig’s head all over town.

Meanwhile, Na said his association has not received any threats following the incidents.

“We are good friends with the villagers. Our relations with them is good,” he said.

He also claimed that many of those who attended the demonstration last week were ‘outsiders’ and not locals.

He added that several buses had ferried them to the Pewaris protest.

That sort of modus operandi sounds familiar. It this the new way of making money, eh? RM50 for a free ride, free meal. All you need is to be able to act like a demonstrator. Scripts and head band will be provided.

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Dear Santa

I am wondering if you have erectile dysfunction? I wonder if Viagra, the blue pill company has ever approached you to be their spokesman? Since Viagra is always looking out for senior citizens who are active to be their spokesman, I think you will be a perfect candidate. Who else gets to fly from house to house and kiss housewives at every home under the mistletoe? Come on, Santa, I bet you need some spare blue pills in your rucksack for the job, eh?

Since Christmas is almost officially over in Malaysia, I can safely make fun of you because you didn’t bring me the gift I wished for. By next year, you probably have forgotten.

Dear Santa

Actually, I just want to make a blog post and see if this post stays in my blog or will it disappear like the previous one along with Bryan’s comment. My webhost is in the midst of moving from the older server to the new one. With DNS propogation and stuffs like that, I seem to be seeing things. One minute it is there, next minute it is not.

Since it is a lazy Christmas day where I slept almost the whole afternoon, I do not give a reindeer shit if this post disappears too. After all, what’s so hard about making a blog post, right?

Again Dear Santa

I think by now, you are probably the most hated man on earth. Kids are going to hate you because instead of bringing iPods for them, you brought chocolates. Instead of bringing an original guitar hero, you brought guitar hero poster. No wonder everyone is looking for stores that open on Christmas day to return all those unwanted gifts. Maybe to many kids, you are a stupid, stubborn, old, old man.

Poor Santa.

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And I almost didn’t make it to church.

I only made it at the profession of faith, which is midway already. In time for Holy Communion.

In time to sing ‘I offer my life’.

In time to know that the CM also attended the mass, at least part of it.

In time to see the light, that nothing else is more important the the Lord Himself. In time to sing O Holy Night with the congregation.

Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here come the wise men from Orient land.
The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King, Behold your King.

And that’s was the night before Christmas 2008.

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