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Sunway Pyramid

Sunway Pryamid again

The Gardens

KLCC

The Gardens

The Curve

And that concludes my KL trip. The jakun in me go ‘wahhh…so nice…’ at every mall’s Christmas decoration. Cheap cheap, see see, no need money wan. There is a big sale going on but nothing very attractive.

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Just a quick post on the Nuffnang Friso Family Day Out…

My two younger kids have a fabulous time, as can be seen from the photo above.

Mommy and handsome boy.

And congrats to Sawanila for winning the grand prize. Enjoy your trip, Yatie! Bloggers who attended this event has a chance to win another prize of a 32″ LCD TV. All they need is to write a post about the event.

The Nuffnang and Friso team group photo and my kid joined in as well. He feels so at home at Kidzsports and enjoyed himself so much.

It is a very successful event because the kids had so much fun and the parents also enjoyed mingling around. Hi to all the folks I met! And thank to Nuffnang and Friso for the fun event.

Gotta run ‘cos my little boy said, “Mommy!!!! My Pet Society is hungry! I must feed my pet.” (pet society = Facebook application)

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The Americans are celebrating Thanksgiving but I think it is also good to give thanks once in a while. So, here goes my long list of giving thanks (blog related, of course) :

1) Thanks to my spammers for without you, I wouldn’t know if my blog is hawt or not. Spammers, though annoying, know their stuffs well and they only spam blogs and blog posts that benefit them.

2) Thanks to my trolls or those anonymous folks who think just because I do not know who they are, they got the right to utter rubbish. For without you, I wouldn’t know that I manage to live up to my blog’s persona of Obnoxious.

3) Thanks to my regular readers who choose to come by my blog instead of subscribing and read it through their mails or RSS. They come by to see who else have commented. I love the kind of communication you guys have with each other on my blog. So cosy and chummy.

4) Thanks to my silent readers who read and never comment but they never fail to leave me a note or mail when I need it.

5) Thanks to my RSS subscribers. I wish the number will increase though.

6) Thanks to all the blog buddies who keeps me company in blogging.

7) Thanks to my webmaster for watching my server like a hawk. (eh, jaga hor, I won’t be around)

8 ) Thanks to you and you and you and you……

So, whom do you want to give thanks? Thank me for the blog posts that sometimes make your day a bit brighter lah!

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According to Malaysiakini, Home-maker Yim Pek Ha was found guilty today of grievously hurting domestic helper Nirmala Bonat and sentenced to 18 years in jail.

Usually, when much publicized cases go to court, I am always torn between believing, wanting to believe and don’t know who to believe. Older generation folks may remember the S. Karthigesu case where he was accused of murdering his sister-in-law, Jean Pereira. I think I was in my late teens or early twenties when the trial proceedings of this case was in the paper everyday. Reading them can make one go crazy because we do not know who to believe. Yet, one has that wickedness of wanting to know the gossips like how Karthigesu kissed, where they had their rendevous and etc etc. You know…the sicko part of us want to dig out all the dirts and etc. In the end, I think one of the witness, a person related to either Karthigesu or Jean was found to lie in court and hence, Karthigesu was freed from a death sentence.

And let’s us not go into Altantuya case or the DNA mattress case. Shhh….I do not want to discuss those cases. Sensitive issues.

Regarding the maid abuse case, I still remember how I felt when it was first publicised. The woman, Yim Pek Ha claimed she had post-natal blues and seek sympathy because she has four children. I too just had a baby and have four kids at that time and yet, I cannot sympathise. However, I was angry with the press at that time because before they found evidence that Yim Pek Ha was guilty, her face was already on TV and the papers and condemned as a monster. The photos of Nirmala bruised face and body on the paper were so horrifying, we automatically judged that Yim Pek Ha was guilty.

Months or years later, I saw another news that Yim Pek Ha was free and happily smiling. We were told that it could be the maid own’s self-inflicted injuries. But self-inflicted till her nipple detached (I am only recalling what I read, I may be wrong)? So, I was torn between believing Yim Pek Ha and Nirmala. One one hand, I want to believe that Yim Pek Ha is not such a monster. On the other hand, I cannot believe Nirmala is telling lies and self-inflicted so much injuries. However, it does not make sense that she endured so many times of abuse.

Today, the case is put to rest. Yim Pek Ha is found guilty. She will go to jail.

But a lot of lives have been destroyed. Those of her children, her husband and I wonder what will become of Nirmala. I hope Yim Pek Ha receives the mental help she needs. Otherwise, the 18 years will serve no purpose. And I hope no one abuses their maids ever. Let’s hum, “Heal the world” by Michael Jackson (whom if you do not already know, is Mikhaeel, a Muslim now).

More on Malaysiakini :

DPP Stanley Augustin said this was the first time in the history of the courts that an individual had been charged with three counts under Section 326 of the Penal Code, for offences against the same victim.

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….so I am not going to continue my previous post.

I had been so busy, I lost the plot anyway.

…on a sidenote, I am so happy I have mailed my test paper and am now waiting anxiously for the lecturer to mail me my results. Let it be another 25/30 please….It is just ego booster, nothing more than that. Self-affirmation kind of thing.

tomorrow will be the last lesson and we are having lunch with Fr. Huan and the seminarians. But that’s not the end of class because I have to go to College General at night for another exam on Carl Jung psychology. Overall, the last one and half months lesson on Psychospirituality has been most enlightening to me, the sometimes disbelieving, sometimes blind faith Catholic.

Having gone deeper in this study on human behaviour, I hope I am more tolerant of stupid. You know…stupid who thinks bloggers are not humans. They think bloggers can be program to be all pro-BN. Stupid does not know that we humans are all evil and kind at the same time. So, how the hell do they expect that thing call bloggers to always agree with them? And just because we voice out, it doesn’t mean we are being racists or fanning fires. Don’t they realise that each of us who have a blog, blog with our own free will? Do they think all bloggers can be hired and given topik karangan to write?

We may be bloggers. Yet, we are all not connected. We are each an individual and it is stupid to think that they can herd all into one tiny circle who agrees with them all the time.

Stupid does not realise that if they have the power to charge, charge. Don’t always talk cock. Because when you talk cock too much, no one has anymore respect for you.

However looking at the news appearing on Malaysiakini, I think we are heading for messy future. Stupid blamed bloggers for fanning the fires. But have they asked themselves if there is deeper trouble, cause by bad governance? There seems to be too many heads. The sleepy one woke up much later when the one who has authority and the royalties have spoken, at different ends. And if that is not messy enough, the ex-one also chip in with his two cents. Makes me wonder if they have lost the plot?

Gee, I also lost my plot. What was my topic again?

KUALA LUMPUR: The Home Ministry is monitoring blogs to check if bloggers are posting comments that confuse the people on controversial issues.

At the moment, Deputy Home Minister Datuk Chor Chee Heung said the ministry was merely advising bloggers against the misuse of blogs.

“So far, we are only telling them not to use their blogs as a mechanism to confuse people or as a weapon against those they don’t like.”

Chor said this yesterday when asked about bloggers posting comments on the National Fatwa Council’s edict banning Muslims from practising yoga.

“However, if the comments are deemed as posing a threat to the public security, we will view them seriously,” he said, adding it would be left to the minister to act on such cases.

“The ministry is always monitoring developments in the blogosphere,” Chor said

(The Star)

I gotta run but when I come back, I am so gonna grill this. *Waves to Chor Chee Heung*

The man tattooed the papaya and asked his son to bring it to me at midnight last night. I was in my room and this little boy came in with a papaya. I told him, “You want papaya, go ask your father cut for you, mommy doesn’t like to cut papaya.”

He said, “Mommy!! Look!!!!”

Awww….so sweet.

Then, I took the papaya and told the other sons, “Is your father is hinting I got papayas?” And we had a good laugh with all the action of papayas hanging as saggy boobs.

Since watching Madagascar 2, they had been poking fun at me. You know, in the movie, Gloria the hippo is really fat and they told me I am like Gloria. Whenever I am squeezed in between #2 and #3 in the tiny Persona, they will poke my Michelin tyres from left and right and then sing, “I like them chunky…chunky, chunky, plumpy, plumpy” Arrggh…sons!

I forced everyone to sit down and take a family photo using my tripod. But after 6-7 photos, I still couldn’t get any proper ones. So, here is one for posterity sake.

And another one.

20 years later, I shall come back to this post and compare pictures. That is if chanlilian.net still exists.

And dinner was yakiniku.

A few friends told me 20th wedding anniversary is a big deal. Nay, I don’t want to blow it and end up with no 21st anniversary. I think I will just tip toe around and celebrate the 50th anniversary.

So, let’s do some calculations.

I have lived for 44 years.

I have lived with this same man for 22 years.

I have lived with this same man and legally owns 50% of his properties and 100% of his EPF in the past 20 years.

I think I can endure living with the same man for another 20 years.

So, what have 20 years of legal binding, faith agreement, witnessed by the dead ancestors (we were Taoists/Buddhists when we got married) brought us?

1988 - Got married
1988 - Father-in-law died (we married cos he was dying, that way he gets to drink tea and get bonus point of a daughter-in-law like me)

1990 - Eldest son was born
1992 - Second son was born
1996 - My mother died
1996 - Third son born

2000 - Mother-in-law died (I think it is 2000 lah, who can remember mother-in-laws right LOL)

2001 - Fourth son born but premature
2002 - Fourth son died

2003 - Fifth son born
2003 - My children and I converted to Catholicism

2008 - I’m still standing after all these years
2008 - The dear husband is temporary enjoying a long break from working life and the two of us lepak all day and all night long together. So long as we have money coming in, we will lepak till old age. Not many couples can stand living together like this.

That means we survived four deaths, five births together. Researchers said that a marriage is most threatened when there is a death in a child. For us, it is not only death of a child but a very lengthy hospital stay with a critical ill child.

So, yeah, our marriage has been put into the furnace and polished.

But it is really scary to make the calculations. Half my life, I spent it with the same man. And I am never bored of it. Yet.

Therefore, it is thanksgiving time. Thank you, Lord for giving me :

1) a sense of humour
2) a ‘don’t give a shit’ attitude (wa bo chap siow)
3) a tactful personality (otherwise one can die with four sisters-in-law aka his sisters, all kepohs concern type)
4) a sense of selfishness that makes me still me, and not a mere servant of his (some women become a wife and mother and lost her own self)
5) a quick temper and equally quick forgetfulness
6) a ‘don’t know how to nag’ character (aha, my classic ‘face turned black facade’ is enough to shut everyone up)
7) a lot of male and female friends to bitch with and now, my sons to grumble with
8 ) the same person I was 22 years ago (many marriage broke up ‘cos the spouses turned into different persons after marriage)
9) Jesus because I know I have Him to turn to when I am pissed.
10) Five wonderful kids who are our gel.

So, Happy 20th wedding anniversary to me.

Well…interesting thought, eh?

I am sure a lot of parents will never even dare to think about this possibility. Maybe some will foam in their mouths, fall flat on the floor and their eye balls roll up, leaving only the whites of the eyes.

However…..I think this is a reality many parents have to come to term with. Stop pretending that gays don’t exist. Stop pretending that it is something that happens to only other people’s kids.

For me, we talk about this openly with our sons. We make gay jokes too. Like, “Ma….your son has turned gay….see? He is (doing something that we perceive as a ‘gay-thing’.)”

Then, I will retort with something like, “Oh really? No problem what….but he better be extra creative and make lots of moolah as a fashion designer or wedding planner or be a celebrity or something glamorous like that. ”

The thing is, we don’t really understand how one normal male turned gay. I won’t speculate but some of the reasons I guess are :

1) Out of curiousity and glamour
2) It’s in the genes (this applies for those with more effeminate features)
3) Out of rebellion
4) They are born like that, women just failed to turn them on
5) Being tricked into it (this is one issue that I am wary of because some gays (I said SOME) love to ‘recruit’ more gays into their circles and young boys do get conned into this sort of sexual relationship after being ‘fed’ by their sugar daddies)

Then, there are those who have embraced their sexual preferences and become gay gays like Robb and his partner Zach. Another gay guy told me, there is the fuckee and the fucker in a gay relationship. You have to ask Robb who is who LOL. I have met both of them and they are just normal to me. I mean, they are nice guys, which I am sure their parents have no problem dealing with it. After all, they are good in their studies, have decent work and are good sons.

What is tragic is when parents disowned or stigmatized their own son, forcing them to depression and suicides. To those parents, I wonder if they are concern about their own image or their son’s image? Isn’t it a bit selfish to turn the son away just for their own image? I wonder too…if these parents have been there with their children as they grow up, would they be dealt with the shock of suddenly finding out their son is gay? I mean, we are the parents, we should have seen the signs early on and deal with it eventually, isn’t it? Some of the gays guys (not referring to Robb and Zach) I know come from broken homes or their parents have huge problems in the marriage. Well, at least two told me so. They didn’t have a normal childhood, whether being a victim of domestic abuse or a philandering father.

Many years back, I was eating at a coffeeshop in Farlim. There was this old lady with her son who is a transvestite. He looks like a man but wore woman’s clothings. This is a Chinese woman. And I really respect how ‘normal’ she treats her son. They sat there, in a busy coffeeshop eating and laughing while the rest of the world, the kepochees and the judgemental folks kept staring at them. I know most parents will not have the courage to do that. That incident sort of make me realised that a truly loving mother will not chastise her own son, no matter how or what he is.

Religion wise, as Catholics, gays are not ‘accepted’ as the norm of course. But then, I have asked a church elder before. What if the man is still gay? He said if no sexual relationship is involved, it is fine for two men to love each other. Of course, I don’t know how a relationship survives without the sex, ok?

I think the regular folks will not be so homophobic if we start to see the person as a person, no matter how they act. And the gays can help if they don’t freak the rest of us out by being too ‘hands and legs’ in public. Like, we respect your choice, you also respect our space and don’t show us public display of ‘gay acts’ in front of our kids. I have seen gays fondling each other in public mall, so can you blame the rest of the world for being afraid of gays?

Oh ya, I read that soyabean contains a lot of female hormones and some research claimed that mothers who are pregnant who ate too much soy products will cause the male genes in their sons to mutate to female. So, if your son is gay, don’t blame him, blame yourself. Hehehe.

Incidentally, I am now doing another exam paper on psychology, touching on anima/animus. Psychologically, we are all bi-sexuals. That means, we have the male and female parts in us. It is a matter of how balanced these two parts are.

Robb’s blog about ‘ When your parents know you’re gay‘ inspired me to write this post. I am not encouraging people to turn gay but I wish to share Robb’s post on the difficulties gays face. Robb even advised :

but I just want to let everyone know, that being gay is not easy.
Kids out there who are reading this. Don’t be gay. Go dig pussies, cause you’ll live a better life.

And for the rest of us, que sera sera. Accept people for what they are. And stop being so judgemental.

One of the most important lesson I learnt in my one and a half month course on psychosprituality (combining psychology with spirituality) is to discover ourselves. Some of the things taught by the lecturer, a Catholic priest are to accept our weaknesses and befriend it, being vulnerable is a good thing and enjoy the simple things in life.

(banana almond cupcakes with butter icing)

Father Huan wrote in my exam papers: (Being in touch with your own weaknesses & helplessnesses & responding to the needs of others with compassion & understanding is a positive way of befriending your shadow)

He also left more notes :
• More shadow work need to be done before you can say you’ve befriended & integrated your shadow. Litmus test for completion of this task: Accepting vulnerability without the need to compensate by being in control, & feeling at home with weaknesses & emotional needs

That explains a lot and also answers my own inquisition why I bother to go to a cancer hospital to spend time with very ill and dying patients. It has been a question I asked myself for these past four months.

(I hang my earrings on a tiny Christmas tree. Can you see the pussies earrings?)

Yesterday, we brought a cake and bread baked by my son to my sister’s place. So, I mentioned about my volunteer job at the cancer hospital. My eldest sister and I have opposite characters. Maybe it is because we grew up in different kind of situations. She had both parents till she was about 21 years old while I was the wild child who only have a single parent after my father’s death. So, I am the fearless, cannot be control, independent, cannot take shits, no fear of death/pain/sickness person.

(orange/peaches sponge cake my son baked for my sis)

I briefly told her what a ‘normal’ day is like for me in the companies of the people there. She went, “Aiyerrr…..yeeeee…..you are not afraid? You cannot feel sad meh, every day see dying people?”

I told her, “No worr…..my job is to prepare them for death or cope with long sufferings. Every day I chit chat, listen and slowly go through with those whom the doctor cannot help further. Then, when they have unloaded and unburdened themselves (we Christians call reconciliation), they die lor…Nay, just the other day, one of the woman I know for four months already, died. Sad a bit got lah…but expected already mah. But hor, no lah, everyday before I go home, I go chapel pray pray to Jesus Christ a bit, come out what also forget already lah. All those people screaming and groaning in pain also I forget.” (It is the truth. I have ‘detach feelings when needed’ skills.)

So, I am glad I went through the course on psychology and spirituality. Now, I also can deal with anal retentive people because I now understand what bothers them and why they become like that. I probably tell myself, “Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”

(son decorating cupcakes at 1 am ‘cos in my house, we have no bedtime for kids)

Oh shit! My blog post title and my cerita lari lintang pukang. Never mind, what I initially wanted to share on this beautiful Monday is - never stop having fun. We parents are sometimes too uptight. Just chill lah. Life is too short, don’t take it too seriously. Laugh when you still can. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.

P/S : Thanks for all your sms-es. Will get around to write the suggested topics when I complete my exams. I still have two more papers to finish. More soul searching and reading needed.